This Is Me.....DADDI

I'm all messed up--
Seem to always fck up
but i try my best to get it right
it may not be today or tomorrow
but someday---
i drink alcohol and used to be
friends with mary jane
however i couldnt consider that friendship
i would spend money on her
and she would take me so high but
when i came crashing down; she wasnt there
to catch me--what kind of friend are you
i've been through a slew of friends
but we didnt establish it on anything
so guess what--we fell apart
i try to tell myself that i dont need friends
but the emptyness inside; the black hole
that dwells in my heart has to be filled
im a sucker for love--i love hard
whether it be a friend or a lover
i try to express my love--because it
wasnt always expressed to me
maybe the house and clothes shouldve showed
but words wouldve meant more to me
and as a result--
I've fell for the wrong guys
gotten my heart broken a few times
then went right back to the same path
but i will no longer allow the absence of
my so called father to be my downfall
though my mother has been there; she wasnt
able to be "there"--emotionally
i know you've tried to establish a familiy
She has said to him
I want you to be a father
and you don't even bother
Like "brother" without the R
so what was she to do
work at night and sleep cook and clean in the day
Some days it ain't sunny but it ain't so hard
Just breaks my heart
When she tried to provide and
we say 'Mommy that ain't your job'
but she did it
all i strive to be is better
i may slack and say i dont care
but deep inside--im dying
maybe crying however in silence
because i dont want people to think
something is wrong---
but im learning
learning from my mistakes
i want to do everything for me
i didnt ask to be born
but since im here i have to make it worthwhile
so thats what im going to do
not dwelling on the past or worrying about "you"
i have a great family & wonderful friends
i need positive people around me---
so me and my ysl bag & stylish clothing
are here to stay--

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kind of an obsession.

This blog is a collection of my opinions on current fashions, thoughts on all aspects of my life and whatever else comes to mind.

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loud music. good friends. killer fashion.